Everything You Need to Know About Baby Showers: Hosting, Etiquette, Gifts, and More

Written by mom and RAR member, Lauren Finney Harden. 

It's time to plan a baby shower! That phrase either got you excited or stoked fear. Baby showers take some advanced planning, but it should be a time of stress-free celebration and not a cause for concern. Here are a few tips to get you started on planning a baby shower, including what kinds of baby showers exist, who plans them, and what gifts to bring. 

Baby Shower Basics

Many people have baby showers for their first-born children only (a second- or third-born child’s celebration is smaller and called a “sprinkle”). If this is your first shower, you’ll want it to be memorable without it being pressure-filled. After deciding if you or your loved ones will be throwing a baby shower for your baby, it’s time to decide what kind of shower you want.

Drop-in Baby Showers 

Drop-in baby showers are just as they sound, where guests can drop by during a prearranged period of time, such as over two hours during a weekend afternoon. Drop-in showers are great for parents who have a lot of friends or family members who are parents too. Offering a time frame can make it easier for people to fit your shower in around their schedule. It’s also a popular choice for moms or parents who feel overwhelmed being in the spotlight and prefer to have quieter one-on-one time with their guests.  

Traditional Baby Showers 

A traditional baby shower is usually about two to three hours and guests stay for the bulk of the time. Traditional baby showers might include a schedule that outlines games, time for eating, time for any cake cutting, or present opening, for example. The great part of a traditional shower is that it’s a reflection of the parents and can be customized in any way. That includes a theme—or no theme, if that’s not your thing—and any structure you may or may not want to have for your event. 

Virtual Baby Showers 

Thanks to the pandemic, there’s now a new type of baby shower: virtual showers. Virtual showers are an option for those who are far away from the honoree, or for those that don’t feel comfortable doing a shower in person. It’s a celebration of the parents and the baby, and some people find that it provides a more intimate context since everyone is engaging together rather than in small groups like you might if you were physically in the same place. 

Who throws a baby shower

For some lucky new parents, loved ones might want to throw you a shower. It could be your friends, your mother-in-law, or your relatives. It’s perfectly ok to have more than one baby shower if you are offered and are open to the idea. You could also ask your friends and family to collaborate on one shower if that is more your speed. Communication is key here so that no one’s feelings are hurt in their effort to celebrate you and your baby. 

If you’re going to be planning your own shower, don’t be scared to ask for help. Even if you feel shy or awkward about having a baby shower, you’ll find that most people really do want to help a new parent celebrate. Do-it-yourself types can ask a trusted friend or loved one for tactical help prior to or the day before to make things go smoothly. That might include to-do lists for every day leading up to the shower, or outsourcing specific tasks like picking up food. The most important thing to remember if you’re planning your own shower is to try and manage your stress levels for both your sake and the baby’s.  

Who to invite to a baby shower

Most showers host a small, intimate group of close friends and family who want to support the new baby and family, but you can invite whomever you want. Traditionally, baby showers were for the women in the baby’s life, but today, more dads and men are making an appearance too! Some make a first baby’s baby shower a couples shower, or more of a party akin to an engagement party. There are no rules! If you are not throwing the shower for yourself, be mindful of someone else’s budget before you invite half your hometown. 

When to throw a baby shower

You can have your baby shower at any time during the day that suits you. Popular options include tea time, brunch, or early evening. Keep in mind that most people will expect food, even if it’s during a non-eating hour, so you’ll want to be prepared with options that fit that time, such as heavy appetizers for an early evening shower or sandwiches and salads for a lunchtime shower. Baby showers are usually thrown sometime during the end of the second trimester or at the beginning of the third trimester, which is a good time for new parents to begin nesting and preparing the nursery and home for a new little one. 

What to wear to a baby shower

If your baby shower has a theme, you might want to dress to match or complement it. For example, if you have a rainbow-themed shower, you might want an outfit that features the colors of a rainbow. Some like to dress for the baby’s gender, such as blue or pink. A general rule of thumb for a baby shower is to be overdressed rather than under. It’s a celebration after all! If you’re not sure what to wear or are having a hard time finding a maternity style you love, we recommend renting! Nuuly and Rent-the-Runway both offer cute maternity styles. You can also work with a stylist to find the perfect outfit via our friends at the FixxCollective!  

Baby Shower Gifts 

One way to stay organized when it comes to gifts—because you will get a lot of gifts!—is by having a baby registry. This is a place where you can pick and choose items that you think you’ll want for your baby, and others can view them ahead of any celebrations. It helps streamline the gift-giving process so that you get things you actually want or need, and so that people can buy things that will be useful to you. Many people choose to circulate the registry prior to a shower, such as on an invite, for via text or email to friends. 

Add Rent-a-Romper to your registry

If you’re a baby shower guest, you might have questions about etiquette and gifting. 

How much to spend on a baby gift

How much to spend on a baby gift depends on your personal budget and lifestyle, not the expectations of the recipient. Most expecting parents would say anything helps, so don’t overextend yourself to please or impress friends or family. Some new parents might even ask for no gifts or donations to a baby’s education fund or similar account. It’s more important to know that your gift is going to good use for someone you care about than to focus on the price of the gift. 

Gifts for baby

One easy way to choose a gift you know will be used and loved is to look at the parent’s baby shower registry which contains a list of the items they want and need. While registry items might seem overly practical—burp cloths and bibs, rather than fancy silver rattles or toys—a registry can tell you a lot about a parent’s gifting philosophy. Oftentimes, new parents don’t know exactly what they want and register for a lot of things they don’t end up using. If you are a parent yourself, you can also consider gifting items that you have found helpful that a first-time parent hasn’t considered. 

Your friend or loved one might also have their eyes on something that they didn’t feel comfortable putting on a registry, such as a piece of furniture for the nursery. It’s more than ok to get big ticket items, but it’s important to communicate with the new parents first to make sure there’s no doubling up or the gift hasn’t been reserved by a distant relative. The last thing they want is two very expensive rockers! 

Group gifts are also popular for more expensive items. That’s where a group of people, such as your work colleagues or extended family members, can go in on an expensive gift together, such as a crib or car seat. 

Gifts for new moms and parents 

While it’s easy to get caught up buying gifts for the new baby in your life, don’t forget about gifts for the new parents! The postpartum period can be an overwhelming time as new parents are adjusting to an unpredictable schedule and entirely new lifestyle. They’ll need some help in the weeks and months following birth. Gifts that offer support can include things such as spa services, meal delivery services, housekeeping, babysitting for older children, postpartum doula services, self care items and more. Most new parents would welcome these types of gifts, so keep them in mind as alternatives to more traditional baby gifts like baby blankets and newborn clothes. 

We know it's fun to give new parents clothes, and nothing is more irresistible than teeny-tiny newborn clothes. However, newborn clothes aren't the most useful gift since most babies grow out of them in the first week or two. Even if they fit for a month or more, tired parents usually prioritize comfort and ease—meaning super soft pajamas—over complicated, multi-piece outfits, no matter how cute they are.  You'd be surprised at how often we hear parents say their baby only wore a gifted outfit once or twice, or never at all! 

Here at Rent-a-Romper, we felt like there wasn't a great gift option out there that combined the fun of shopping for newborn clothes with new parents' very real need for support. That's why we created our Rent-a-Romper gift packages which ensure busy families have stylish clothes for their kiddos through the postpartum period and beyond—with Rent-a-Romper, you can cover an entire month worth of clothes for the same price as one newborn outfit all while giving busy parents back some much needed time. And, because Rent-a-Romper is a super sustainable way to shop for baby clothes, it's also a more thoughtful way to gift than choosing new or fast-fashion. 

Our gift packages include either a three- or six-month clothing rental membership that parents can activate any time they need baby clothes. Along with the gift card, each gift box includes a curated selection of self-care goodies for the new parent such as stain-treatment wipes, lip balm, and candles. If you prefer to send a digital gift, gift cards are also available for four-, six-, and twelve-month clothing rental memberships and are a great way to give parents the gift of baby clothing that's personalized for their family's style vibe and lifestyle. 

New parents take a style quiz to let curators know what items and styles they’re looking for, and then a box of clothing will come directly to their door. You can use the rented baby clothes like you would normally use new clothing, including washing, drying, and stain removal. However, unlike new clothes, parents can exchange the rented items for new sizes, styles, or seasonal items whenever they need to! Parents can do this as many times as they see fit throughout their subscription, which allows for a lot of flexibility, less clutter, and reduced clothing waste. Babies outgrow clothes at an alarmingly quick rate—sometimes in a single size for only a matter of weeks—making Rent-a-Romper a super sustainable baby clothing option, especially during the newborn phase. 

Explore new baby gifts here

Baby showers are a time to celebrate and be celebrated. As long as communication channels are open and clear, everyone can have a wonderful time preparing for a new little one's arrival!