Self-Love

We are kicking off February with a month of love and will be writing about the people around us and how we show love. Before we talk about others, today we will focus on self-love. 

Often this is the hardest type of love, particularly when there are little people relying on you and soaking up a lot of your energy and care.  But in order to be the best version of ourselves to others, we need to love ourselves first. So, we will start our month of love there.  With YOU.  With ME. 

What is self-love anyhow?  We see these images in marketing regularly of a woman primping with a face mask or soaking in the tub.  These can be actions that demonstrate you are caring for yourself, but it is not the definition of self-love or fully encompass the things we can do to love ourselves. 

Jeffery Borenstein, President of the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation writes: “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness.  Taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.  Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.” 

This can be hard to prioritize when you have people around relying on you. How can you take time for yourself when your baby needs to be fed and changed? How can you go for that walk when there are still 17 items on your to-do list?

This looks different for everyone.  But #1 – you are worth it and you will be more fully yourself if you make time, and #2 – The love needs to be worthy – you need to understand yourself and make it matter.  If you only have 5 minutes, take the actions that make you feel most fully you. 

Here are some of the ways our #rentaromper community loves on themselves: 

Lauren, Mom of 2, Marketing Director @ Rent-a-Romper – Virginia 

What does self-love mean to you? When do you feel most yourself, proudest, and most full? What actions help you feel that way?

Self-love means putting myself first at some point during the day (even if that means things are going to be mildly crazier when I emerge).  

Most myself – when I catch myself not worrying about anything and just being in the moment – either with my husband, with the kids or even myself

Proudest – when I’m able to talk my own insecurities and self doubts away

Most full – when I have been able to dedicate time to myself (alone) with some much needed family adventure

Making my needs known, to myself and my husband helps me.  This allows us to check in with one another and make sure we are doing the best we can to feel less stress and cared for.  And as lame as it sounds – SLEEP!! I’ve been going to bed at 9pm and reading for half an hour every night for the last two months and it’s made such a difference mentally to step away from a screen and into a fictional story!

Elisabeth, Mom to 2, Freelance writer – Montana

What does self-love mean to you? When do you feel most yourself, proudest, and most full? What actions help you feel that way?

When I get a good workout in.  A hard hike or  a trail run.  That makes me feel the most connected to my pre-kid self. Trying a paddleboard for the first time when my son was two months old was the first glimmer I felt of my old self.  When I write something I’m really proud of.  

Chris, Dad of 2, Environmental Consultant – California

What does self-love mean to you?

Self-love is when I feel like I am engaged with all aspects of my life (my family, my work, myself) and that I am not coasting through. That is when I feel my best.

When do you feel most yourself, proudest, and most full?

I feel most myself around the people that I love the most – my family and closest of friends. I feel the proudest when I manage to handle the stress of life and I can be a good emotional role model and parent to my kids. 

What actions help you feel that way?

Exercising and eating right is my physical self-love. These days, just not wearing sweatpants can make me feel better and more productive.

Lauren, Mom of 2, Founder @Rent-a-Romper – California

What does self-love mean to you?

I think self-love is when I am able to give myself the time and space to be who I am fully. 

When do you feel most yourself, proudest, and most full?

I feel the fullest when I am around people.  Whether that is engaging with people for work and pushing a project forward, or being with my friends and family – people fuel me. I feel the most myself when I am with friends playing volleyball or doing something competitive, even a game of charades or karaoke.  I guess I feel the most like me when I get the chance to be with my community and village. 

What actions help you feel that way?

Making time for friends and family.  Regular dinners out or planning a camping trip with friends.  Birthday parties with my brothers and family.  During COVID though this has been harder and as a person who gets my energy from others, I have had to modify.  Now my group chats and game nights on Zoom have to make up for this for a while. 

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Make sure to take time to think about what makes you feel best and most confident in yourself.  And then make it a priority to give yourself some love.

You will be able to love on every else better afterward.

Xx