Combatting Mommy Burnout with Dr. Whitney Casares

Recently, Rent-a-Romper's CEO Lauren sat down with Dr. Whitney Casares to discuss mommy burnout. As a mom, author, and pediatrician (whew!), Dr. Whitney approaches this topic from multiple perspectives to deliver actionable advice that actually works. We’ve broken down our favorite tips in this post, but if you’d like to watch the entire conversation, you can do so here. 

Here are our top 7 takeaways from our conversation: 

1. Feeling pulled in multiple directions is normal. 

Between work, school, meals, and your relationship with your partner, it can be challenging to know whose needs to prioritize at any given moment. The minute your kids need something can be the exact moment an urgent request comes in at work. And whether it's as simple as making sure you pack daycare snacks or as complicated as a pandemic, the demands on parents never stop. So how do you avoid feeling pulled in too many directions? And how do you know when to prioritize your own needs over your kid's or your partner's? That takes us to tip #2...

2. Get super clear on your values

While we can't always choose what life throws our way, we can decide how to respond. Even if it's just for 10 minutes, it's helpful to start your day or week by creating your centered vision, the picture of what you want your life to look or feel like. From there, you can choose what you should focus on and leave all the rest behind. 

3. Managing home and work means not doing it all

Dr. Whitney’s outlook on “doing it all” is surprising and refreshing. Instead of aiming for perfection in all areas of life, Dr. Casares recommends strategically choosing mediocrity.  Yep, you heard that right; it's ok to be mediocre in some area of your life. In fact, it's not just ok; it's necessary. One of the most significant stressors we face is our own expectations. When we allow ourselves to do some things quickly (or not at all) instead of perfectly, we save room and energy for the things that matter. 

4. You need less stuff than you think you do

One of the fastest ways to feel less overwhelmed is to get rid of all the excess stuff, and when it comes to kids, that usually starts with toys and clothes. As Dr. Whitney points out in her book, “You’ll enjoy life more if you only have to take care of the stuff you cherish,” and she shares that it’s a great way to teach kids that they are enough, even without endless stuff. 

We know how easily kid's closets can be overwhelmed with unworn gifted outfits or outgrown sizes, so we get excited any time we're able to help parents simplify—either by shipping out a capsule or taking in a clothing donation. 

5. Map out your week and plan ahead

Decluttering applies to schedules, not just stuff. Once you've created your centered vision, take some time to put everything you want and need to do on your calendar. Everything else can be outsourced, canceled, or pushed to a later date. 

6. Outsource and automate 

Outsourcing and automation can apply to everything on your plate that can be done by someone else than you. And it doesn't have to cost a lot or be complicated to move things off your plate. Services like Rent-a-Romper are designed for parents and can help with tasks that eat up time and energy.  These types of services help you do more, and they can even help you do things better. For example, by outsourcing your kid’s wardrobe to a professional stylist, you know they’ll always be dressed in the latest cute styles. 

7. Remember, chores and errands are not "self-care"

The signs of burnout aren't always obvious. Maybe you simply don't care about things as much, are tired all the time, or are more easily triggered by your kid's behavior. When this happens, it's important to remember that you need restorative time for you (and no, that grocery store run you took without kids, or the shower you took while your baby napped, doesn't count).